RNZ’s Hamish Bidwell unpacks a few ways the sporting world can give back to New Zealand sports fans this Christmas.

Christmas is upon us so, beyond a few beers and some games of golf, there’s also a few sporting wishes I’d like to see come true.

Let’s start with the Black Caps then: What’s the point of being World Test Champions if there’s going to be no meaningful test cricket on your schedule?

Honestly, white-ball cricket is junk and I dispute this idea that it pays cricket’s way or is popular with fans.

Between now and the end of June, New Zealand has just seven tests on its schedule. The first four, at home against Bangladesh and South Africa, are a waste of time, ahead of a three-test tour to England in June.

Our domestic Twenty20 and 50-over competitions are pointless and, yes, it’s nice that we have some games against Australia this summer, but they’re all in the abbreviated formats.

We need the Black Caps playing proper test series of three tests or more in duration, rather than the common diet of two, and we need them fast. If New Zealand doesn’t have any bargaining power now, as theoretically the best test team in the world, then, when will they?

Let’s get some perspective: I’m continually appalled by the way the deeds of teams and athletes are overstated and I’ll give you an example.

If you follow Ashes test cricket, then you’ll be aware that Ben Stokes is a superlative all-round cricketer. In fact, if you believe everything you’re told, he’s arguably better and more heroic than the great Garry Sobers.

Stokes, in 73 tests, has scored 4696 runs for England at an average of 36.40 and taken 166 wickets at 32.03.

I don’t know what Chris Cairns got up to in the ill-fated Indian Champions League, all those years ago, but I do know that in 62 tests for New Zealand he scored 3320 runs at 33.53 and took 218 wickets at 29.40.

Is Cairns an all-time great? Is he superhuman? Is he the game’s best allrounder since Sobers? No, he’s none of those things. If anything, we all regarded him as an under-achiever.

I wish people could cover sport without having to lavish unjustified praise on the participants.

Let’s have a review-free year: I challenge every sport in New Zealand not to have a cultural review in 2022.

None of them are cultural reviews anyway. They’re investigations that don’t dig too deeply – and never impune anyone personally – into allegations that we mistreat female athletes, predominantly.

How about we don’t abuse these women in the first place? How about we just coach and support them without fat-shaming and belittling them? How about not starting inappropriate relationships or playing psychological games?

My wish is that we never forget Olivia Podmore and never have another female athlete die in those circumstances again.

Let’s have a new All Blacks coach: Bless the good folk at New Zealand Rugby (NZR), they were so nearly there.

Sadly, adding Joe Schmidt to the All Blacks’ staff in a bit-part role doesn’t cut it. Schmidt needs to run the whole show or not be involved at all.

If I have a wish for that team in 2022, it’s that they continue to perform so poorly that NZR are shamed into going the whole hog and appointing Schmidt as head coach.

Let’s get less grandiose in our plans: A radio host tried to enthuse me about the Super Rugby Pacific draw, a few weeks ago.

It starts here and there’s a round where all the teams play at the same venue and doesn’t it all sound so exciting?

No, I replied.

First, because they’re all just team names on a bit of paper and who cares but, second, because it’s all theoretical.

Are we actually going to be able to stage the competition in 2022? Are the teams really going to all play in Melbourne on the same weekend? Or does the global health crisis we're experiencing basically mean the end for multi-national round-robin tournaments?

I wish the people running rugby would recognise what people in rugby league and football and basketball already know and just accept that players won’t jet between New Zealand and Australia every week.

Let’s get some clarity: It makes no sense that Caster Semenya could not compete at the Olympic Games, but that Laurel Hubbard did.

These are different women, with different stories, but that doesn’t mean there should have been vastly different outcomes here.

I wish we had rules around gender that made things fair for everyone.

Finally, let’s have a safe and merry Christmas. Let’s get about the country and accept that there will be traffic and accept that there’s a few more protocols now and accept that other people can be loud or rude or intolerant.

We’re actually pretty lucky, on the whole.