One of the most life-changing, nurturing, and delightful women’s gatherings I’ve ever experienced occurred in Rarotonga on April 4th and 5th at The Edgewater Hotel. Piri’anga O’onu Women’s Empowerment Retreat (POWER!) featuring the divine, profane, and inspiring social media celebrity, Nicola “Nix” Adams, who shared her guiding virtues of CWK – Courage, Wisdom, and Knowledge, writes Linda Kavelin-Popov.

It was sponsored by the Ministry of Internal Affairs and Pacific Community (SPC) with support from local businesses.

Secretary Anne Herman and her fabulous team created a feast for mind and soul for 40 women from sixteen to eighty-two, with an amazing range of tools and activities, stretching many beyond their comfort zones. We were all rapt when Nix shared her journey of resilience and strength in healing from drug addiction and radically changing her lifestyle in order to retrieve and raise her children. Women courageously and vulnerably shared about domestic violence, struggles with self-esteem, experiences of inequality in the workplace. They also shared their talents of song, ei making, painting, and dance.

I was privileged to support participants with a virtues-based healing circle and other virtues activities, taking a deep dive into their personal stories and receiving virtues acknowledgments from each other, reflecting each woman’s true mana. We shared prayer and our spirituality throughout. One phrase that resonated from one of the community leaders was “service over self.”

For me the biggest challenge was making my second ever ei katu, which we were meant to wear to dinner on the last evening. It was a colossal failure as an ei, but luckily a source of uproarious entertainment for the women around me crafting gorgeous creations. I appealed to the sister who was leading the activity and who by now had learned to speak virtues language. “Have mercy!” I cried. “Where is your compassion?” “Please help! Fix it!” She fired back at me in virtues lingo -- “Have confidence. You can do it!” “Yours is so, um, unique, unusual, and special.”

I could hardly breathe for laughing so hard and so was she. I watched her skillfully creating a huge crown out of the mass of flowers and leaves local women had brought in that morning. As I stared at my truly pitiful ei, I said, “I’m not wearing that.” Suddenly she crowned me with hers. What a beauty!

It took courage for powerful women to trust and to reveal our vulnerability. Many women suffer from “notenoughness” no matter how much we accomplish. There are deep insecurities to overcome, a need to know and value ourselves, to celebrate our successes and accept our limitations.

Setting clear boundaries was addressed and what was revealed is that it is nearly impossible to set boundaries if in one’s heart of hearts, we feel unworthy. Nix set an inspiring example for us of resilience – using stumbling blocks as stepping stones, to claim our own way of being whatever anyone else thinks of us. She has become a social media sensation with millions of followers, while now raising her children with love and boundaries.

A young entrepreneur on a panel described an adventure that required enormous courage and called all of us to reach out and grow our strengths – our virtues. We left this safe, joyful space truly ready to empower ourselves and each other, to have our best possible life and make our very best contribution to the community. This retreat was the first of its kind. I hope it won’t be the last!