A father is far more powerful in the life of a child than he may ever know. He is their role model, their primary source of self-esteem, the standard for their ideals in life, their protector, their teacher, and their mentor.

He is also their mirror. What he sees in them is what they see in themselves. Their entire sense of self is reflected to them by his words about and to them, the way he treats them, and whether or not he finds them worthy of his attention, which they will crave until the end of their days. Dads are blessed, because no matter how many mistakes they may make as parents, their children are always ready to forgive them and give them another chance.

Some children grow up in homes without fathers, but they almost always manage to find a father figure to fill the gap – a teacher, an uncle, or a family friend. Why? Because they have a deep need for a dad.

Some fathers, following the example set by their own fathers, are rough on their kids. They criticise and tease, discipline with violence, and never have a kind word to say. Nothing their children do, especially sons, is ever good enough – because that’s how they were raised. Fathers who commit abuse of any kind – physical, emotional, or spiritual (attacking the child’s character or their worth) are accountable to God. They are mandated to play a vital role in their child’s life and development.  

“My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, Nor detest His correction; For whom the LORD loves He corrects, Just as a father the son in whom he delights.” (Proverbs 3:11-12) God calls fathers to: 1. Love your children as the Lord loves you. 2. Correct your children when they make mistakes. 3. Take delight in them.

A loving father shows his love in many ways, including discipline that is educative, not punitive, both gentle and firm. A loving Dad takes delight in his children, enjoys them, plays with them, is proud of their good qualities and talents, and shows his approval often. Above all, he looks for and appreciates the good in his child. He is an encourager.  

My father was extremely busy. He never struck me and my brothers, but he rarely spoke to us directly. We loved sitting around the dinner table when he came home from a trip and shared jokes told in his meetings. Laughing with him gave us tremendous joy. He moved overseas when I was a young mum, and I felt the loss deeply. I went to visit him and was shocked by two things. My photo was in almost every room of his home and a colleague said, “Linda, your dad is so proud of you. He talks about you all the time.” Dad had never told me directly. It would have meant the world to me.

Dads, your children are precious and so vulnerable to your approval or disapproval. Scripture speaks of their value as sons and daughters of God. “Know ye the value of these children, for they are all My children.” (Baha’i Writings) “The Prophet said: Among the happiness of a man is to have a righteous child.”  (Quran, 20) When the disciples tried to shoo children away, “Jesus called the children to him and said, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” (Luke 18: 15-18).

This Father’s Day, put down your device, look into the eyes of your children and tell them the virtues you love and admire in them – their helpfulness, their excellence in school, their humour or kindness. Give them hugs and play with them. Add LST to your TLC. Look, smile, touch. Be present. You’re more important than you know.