Taking a gift of help from another can make some people feel overburdened on how are they going to pay it back in kind, but not all help is given for repayment, sometimes it’s to be paid forward.

In four days, most of America will be celebrating Thanksgiving with a super large whole Turkey dinner, cranberry sauce, mash potatoes, and pumpkin pie. Families will travel miles to meet up for the evening to overeat, drink and reunite and family fight over the last helping of pie. It’s steeped in tradition and history and of all the commercialised holidays celebrated, it’s the least picked up by other countries.  Valentine’s and Halloween have become gift giving, over indulged, costumed affairs that costs the average person to keep in keeping with the hype but no one says ‘Hey, giving thanks, bringing family together, sharing a home cooked meal, no presents required only your presence, just sounds like a neat idea, lets copy it’. Nope we’d rather adopt the fake hearts and scary ghosts instead.

It’s not rocket science to know having an attitude of gratitude is the way forward to a peaceful world, the acknowledgement of appreciation to another is a strong show of respect. Accepting support, help and compliments done graciously without a tone of entitlement is a lesson not many of us have learnt.

In our cynical world we can be wary of the offer of help from strangers wondering what do they want in return. True giving without strings is rare, but it is there.  Taking a gift of help from another can make some people feel overburdened on how are they going to pay it back in kind, but not all help is given for repayment, sometimes it’s to be paid forward. Your mission should you accept it is to simply say ‘Thank you’ and thus doing empower the other person to feel good too.

I recently acknowledged and publicly gave thanks to all who had supported and helped me get my son to the Olympics this year. The road to the Olympics is paved with gold to get an athlete there, achieved by good old fashion hard work, sweat and tears.

I did say to Kohl you couldn’t stay with athletics just a pair of shoes? No, we need paddles at $800, smart watches $600, boats the first was $900 the latest $5000. This that and the other all adds up, and so you make time for fundraising and apply for funding. As a high-performance sports athlete representing your country doesn’t make access to money easy or automatic. There’re avenues to apply for funding but the reality is it should be called re-funding, not funding. Grants for preparation towards Tokyo doesn’t come until after you’ve paid the money, the event and several months of interest on your maxed out visa card. Some grants pay for equipment, some don’t. Unfortunately, Kohl didn’t receive equipment funding, therefore, money for the toys, boats and whistles had to be found elsewhere.

On financial aid, the biggest lesson I learnt was humility. The global debate of nature over nurture says talent and hard work gets you selected, but it’s nurture that gets them there. It’s taken a village to get Kohl to Tokyo, I could only do so much then we had to rely on and accept the kindness and generosity of those around us who wanted to help.

Receiving finances from my friends who only knew Kohl as a baby, insisting on donating money towards buying equipment, or them buying my furniture at triple the price, to strangers who had recently met Kohl and businesses who gave generously to assist, with no strings attached or expectation to pay it back I am deeply thankful and appreciative, but it’s humbling. Then there are those who gave their services and expertise to training, coaching and managing him, we are totally indebted and grateful. Training offshore could not have been achieved without my family. It was a huge commitment and undertaking for them to carry the role of providing for a high-performance athlete to meet training deadlines and requirements. Be they a Nana, Meme, Aunty, Uncle or cousin, it changes their daily routine, costs them money to feed him, transport him and keep him entertained and general living costs, they have to pay upfront because they want to help. The enormity of it cannot be underestimated or overlooked just because they are family. It literally is the whole village you have to be prepared to approach for help and then graciously accept the help when offered, because you cannot do this alone.

So as a solo parent on a remote island, in this subsidised environment I learnt to accept help graciously, despite my squirming inside. To understand the love and energy each donation was given with, be it financial, service, emotional or spiritual support, I was humbled by the generosity of those around me and faith and restoration of the human spirit was restored and returned by their giving and my thanks.