I often hear how one wishes they could see their treasured ones for one more hour for comfort, solace, advice or an opportunity to right a wrong.

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal and love leaves a memory no one can steal – Richard Puz.

November first is all Saints Day, a worldwide celebration memoralising saints and those gone to heaven. In the Cook Islands we pay homage to our departed by re-decorating graves with flower ei’s, headstones are scrubbed and repainted, while we remember them. It’s a sight tourists wonder about, the multitudes of colourful flower arrangements atop, or shrines built in honour of loved ones, some look sturdier and more attended to than the houses of the living sitting next to them.  Graves at our front doors, also fascinates tourists, the position of life and death together. They understand the sentiment of keeping loved ones close to greet, every day rather than having to travel afar, where they forget and neglect until the anniversary. Given the option, few people are comfortable around graves due to scars of Hollywood horror movies.

October 31^st is known as Hallows eve, it’s the time when the veil between life and death is thinnest, a good time to speak with the spirit of loved ones. A time to remember the invisible exists with the visible, dressing up as the walking dead, as ghosts and ghouls, witches and wizards is now a commercialised memory of Halloween.

November 2^nd is the Day of the Dead, and in Aztec, Mexican cultures they pay homage and commune with the dead, and pray to guide their departed towards heaven if they have strayed into purgatory. The painting of skulls on their faces is to ward off the invisible evil, while they add food and drink to their graves to feed their loved ones – the invisible good on their journey.

I often hear how one wishes they could see their treasured ones for one more hour for comfort, solace, advice or an opportunity to right a wrong. It’s an endearing, romantic thought but what if it actually happened? Would you in all seriousness not freak out if your guardian angels, nana or pet dog popped in for a chat in the back seat of your car as you’re driving along? In a dream is one thing we feel safe in that hazy in between, but awake is another matter. 

I remember trying to evoke such a sight one clear winters full moon night. I had gone up to the snowy mountains cross-country skiing for Halloween. I found myself alone in a soft open area, surrounded by an incredible wall – wall of stars and the moonlight reflecting on the snow gave it an ethereal blue that glowed a halo effect over everything. I had stopped to hear the sound of silence – my breathing and heartbeat in my ears. I looked up facing the moon asking my angels and guides for directions and advice, imagining my nana was looking back at me, wondering if she had a message or guidance for me. I thought this would be a perfect time to commune, face to face, while the veil is thinnest, while the light soft and while I was alone … on a mountain range… in the middle of the night… alone… and then just like that, I freaked, and yelled out to the ethers, “NO! Don’t! I’m not ready! In fact, if any one of you show up right now, I’m going to scream!” I’m now afraid they will materialise around me like in Star Trek. I continued shouting “I’m going to close my eyes and not look, Oh, God, what was I thinking!  Don’t, do it, don’t do it, I’m leaving now, I’m going now, and don’t any one of you think it will be funny to just pop up out of nowhere and talk to me right now. I am not ready” Hilarity aside, call me chicken, but seriously, the reality of facing a ghost even a friendly one, once I thought about it gave me a feeling like Whoopie Goldberg, seeing Patrick Swayze in Ghost for the first time even though she was pretending to see ghosts as a living, the reality was, Yip, freaked out. 

No disrespect to my relatives I love you dearly and mentally commune with you daily. I know the dead look out for us, guide us, sometimes when we get a warm fuzzy feeling, a gut twist, an echo in our ear, its a reminder for us, be they family, spirit or God, there’s more out there than meets the eye. So, on this day I’ll decorate my name sakes grave, I’ll leave flowers and paint her in memory, I will bless those who have gone before me, and ask for their blessings, while ensuring the veil remains firmly sewn shut so they stay on their floating on a cloud side and I stay on my grounded sanity side.