Lessons on answering the phone needed

Wednesday March 29, 2017 Published in Smoke Signals

Frequent customers of the Land Division of the Ministry of Justice may not be thrilled with the recently-announced decision to close the doors on Tuesdays while Land Division staff are in “training”, a smoke signaller observes.

“Can this writer make a humble suggestion that the first Tuesday be spent learning how to answer the phone? The average number of attempts necessary to get through the “automated” phone system before actually having a conversation is about six phone calls. Perhaps Justice has shares in Bluesky?”


The prime minister certainly got the definition of diplomacy right in his latest column in CI News, which mentioned among other things working on international relations, a smoke signaller says. “The question, however, is that really what he does on his constant overseas travels? His reasons for travelling far and wide appear to be several. It seems to me he does not want to stay in the country and face real issues; he would rather be relaxing at 30,000 feet in business class while accumulating personal air points, which I believe should be going towards sending critical health cases to New Zealand for treatment. If he ever sat in parliament for more than a day or two, the country might even appear to be guided by “a leader”, but then he would have to shoulder responsibility. Wow! And instead of turning this country into a Patipati State, we might actually be able to stand on our own and manage to balance our own Budgets, rather than forever standing around, cap in hand waiting for some other country to assist us. And he calls that diplomacy. To my mind, there has never been a shallower or more self-serving reason for travelling…


“How can Bluesky keep continuing to send constant promo texts containing grammatical mistakes, false advertising etc?” a smoke signaller asks. “Recently they sent a 4G promo text which read, “Promo starts now 24th March”. Me and my son took up the offer, only to learn from Bluesky that the reason why we didn’t get the quadruple bonus promo is because at the time of writing the promo actually starts tomorrow, not “NOW” as written.

SS: A Bluesky spokesperson says the company had a number of customers complain about use of the word “NOW”, followed by the correct date. “It was purely human error on our part.”


Just because the algae is gone from Muri Beach doesn’t mean the water is clean, a smoke signaller says. “When was the last time the quality of the water was tested? And when will the results of those tests be released publicly?”


Another smoke signaller says if the algae has in fact suddenly disappeared, it just has to be a miracle. “If we all pray hard enough, perhaps all the potholes in the roads will disappear too.”

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